‘If it seems better than it tastes, step away’- 2017 ‘s dumbest food tendencies

Last years avo toast was only a precursor to 2017 s parade of culinary weirdness with plates filled with cloud eggs, Yorkshire pudding wraps and a side of unicorn sprinkle

You can tell a great deal about a culture by the food that fuels it- and in the annals of culinary progress, 2017 has not been an wholly glorious year. If you thought 2016′ s avo toast was bad, take a look at these horrors.

Charcoal pizza basis, buns, ice-creams Actually, charcoal in anything that isn’t a barbecue. Not only does it savour awful, but there’s no evidence of any health benefits unless you’ve already been poisoned, in which case you probably shouldn’t be feeing pizza. In fact, so effective is charcoal at assimilating chemicals that it can affect prescription medication, too . But hey, if it seems good on Instagram …

Vegetable yoghurts Hotly tip-off to be the next big health craze about this time last year, but in so far find merely in Waitrose and on the social media accounts of people who likely then fed them to the dog. We can all give thanks that they didn’t render a kale version.

Unicorn food … pastels and sprinkles. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Unicorn food AKA anything garmented in rainbow pastels with a shedload of sprinkles. It’s rare I agree with Gordon Ramsay on something these days, but” unicorns are meant for children’s narratives , not foods “. If it looks better than it savor, step away.

Cloud eggs Standard baked eggs, but for the fact that the whites are whisked up to a meringue-like consistency to give them the appearance of a cloud emoji. Lauded in the press as” popular among health nuts due to coming in at only 161 calories “, despite the fact that either poached or boiled eggs have slightly fewer and are substantially quicker to make.

Smoothie, Buddha and breakfast bowls It’s an inescapable fact that smoothies are more easily drunk from a glass( yes, I said glass , not jam jar- and don’t even get me started on salads or chia puddings in those) and anything requiring the use of a knife is better served on a plate. Doesn’t photograph as well, of course.

Yorkshire pudding wraps A rare homegrown food trend, but that doesn’t make it right. Yorkshire puddings are great. Roast dinners are great. They don’t deserve to be squashed together in a soggy wrap and feed on the hoof, let alone made into a bloody burrito.

Raindrop cakes This Japanese delicacy was the ultimate edible instance of emperor’s new clothes, with one reporter claiming: ” I’ve never savoured something that is inherently, well, tasteless. Not even normal water .”~ ATAGEND Yours for a mere PS2. 30.

Turmeric latte. Photo: vanillaechoes/ Getty Images/ iStockphoto

Turmeric lattes That yellow thing you’re snapping in your cutely mittened hand has been around for centuries on the Indian subcontinent as haldi doodh, prescribed by mums at the merest hint of a sniffle. It didn’t need rebranding by big multinational corporations. On the plus side, the avolatte- an avocado latte– turned out to be a joke.

Glitter On everything from coffee to crisps and even chickens( likely reduced for a quick sale around about now ). Attained from sugar and food colouring, this one is likely to continue into the new year, which is yet another reason to hibernate until spring.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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