‘If it seems better than it savor, step away’- 2017 ‘s dumbest food tendencies

Last years avo toast was only a precursor to 2017 s parade of culinary weirdness with plates filled with cloud eggs, Yorkshire pudding wraps and a side of unicorn sprinkle

You can tell a lot about a culture by the food that fuels it- and in the annals of culinary advance, 2017 has not been an wholly glorious year. If you thought 2016′ s avo toast was bad, take a look at these horrors.

Charcoal pizza bases, buns, ice-creams Actually, charcoal in anything that isn’t a barbecue. Not merely does it savor nasty, but there’s no evidence of any health benefits unless you’ve already been poisoned, in which instance you probably shouldn’t be feeing pizza. In fact, so effective is charcoal at absorbing chemicals that it can affect prescription medication, too . But hey, if it appears good on Instagram …

Vegetable yoghurts Hotly tip-off to be the next big health fad about this time last year, but so far find only in Waitrose and on the social media accounts of people who probably then fed them to the dog. We can all give thanks that they didn’t create a kale version.

Unicorn food … pastels and sprinkles. Photo: Alamy Stock Photo

Unicorn food AKA anything garmented in rainbow pastels with a shedload of sprinkles. It’s rare I agree with Gordon Ramsay on something these days, but” unicorns are meant for children’s tales , not foods “. If it appears better than it tastes, step away.

Cloud eggs Standard baked eggs, but for the fact that the whites are whisked up to a meringue-like consistency to give them the appearance of a cloud emoji. Lauded in the press as” popular among health nuts due to coming in at just 161 calories “, despite the fact that either poached or simmered eggs have slightly fewer and are considerably quicker to make.

Smoothie, Buddha and breakfast bowl It’s an inescapable fact that smoothies are more easily drunk from a glass( yes, I said glass , not jam jar- and don’t even get me started on salads or chia desserts in those) and anything requiring the use of a knife is better served on a plate. Doesn’t photograph as well, of course.

Yorkshire pudding wraps A rare homegrown food tendency, but that doesn’t make it right. Yorkshire puddings are great. Roast dinners are great. They don’t deserve to be squashed together in a soggy wrap and eat on the hoof, let alone made into a bloody burrito.

Raindrop cakes This Japanese delicacy was the ultimate edible example of emperor’s new clothes, with one reporter claim: ” I’ve never savor something that is inherently, well, tasteless. Not even normal water .”~ ATAGEND Yours for a mere PS2. 30.

Turmeric latte. Photograph: vanillaechoes/ Getty Images/ iStockphoto

Turmeric lattes That yellow thing you’re snapping in your cutely mittened hand has been around for centuries on the Indian subcontinent as haldi doodh, prescribed by mums at the merest hint of a sniffle. It didn’t need rebranding by big multinational corporations. On the plus side, the avolatte- an avocado latte– turned out to be a joke.

Glitter On everything from coffee to crisps and even chickens( probably reduced for a quick marketing around about now ). Constructed from sugar and food colouring, this one is likely to continue into the new year, which is yet another reason to hibernate until spring.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

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