8 Mental Health Resolutions For The Girl Who Suffers From Anxiety Or Depression

September 30, 2017

I don’t know about YOU, but I’m sick and tired of the all of these picture-perfect girls on Instagram, with their perfectfitness routines, their perfectlyunmussed ponytails, their perfectly white teeth, and their perfectly photographedgreen kale smoothies, all with captions telling me how #Blessed they are.

Now, as we approach theNew Year, these same girls are polluting my news feed with a laundry list of unsolicited advice, lecturing me on how I, too, can attain their unattainable bodies and lives. STOP telling me what to eat for f* cking breakfast. Let me eat my bagel in peace.

If theywant to live on a raw diet and wear Lululemon leggings and post their aspirational photos every single day highlighting howperfect they are, that’s wholly fine.ButI’m far less interested in juice cleansing and filtering away the sadnessthan I am inexamining where this sadness received from in the first place.

I suffer from depression every day of my life. And I know some of you struggle, too. And you know why we struggle? Because we’rewildly creative, out-of-the-box, complicated, gorgeously imperfect girl creatures.

We’re teeming with emotion, imagination and endless energy. We think deeply about things. We’ve been through sh* t, and we’re “re going through” sh* t. And we are far more dynamic and multifaceted than Ms. Instagram.

So I’ve come up with a list of super-real, unapologetic personal resolutions to stimulate me a stronger version of myself in 2016. Let’s make2 016 the year the real daughters rises.

1. I want to learn to meditate, not self-medicate.

I had my first anxiety assault after a night of doing cocaine with some creepy older sons when I was 16 years old. Now I’m 29 and clean, but nervousnes and depressioncontinue to be a perpetual combat for me.

While I don’t binge drinking as destructively I did in my early 20 s, I still rely more than I wish I did on that trusty glass of Sauvignon blanc to quell my social nervousnes or to ease a hectic day.

But stuffing the feelings down isn’t serving me anymore.I don’t want to be that girl who needs to rely on chemicals because she can’t manage the weight of her feelings.I want to find healthier ways to deal with the sadness.

I’m sick of being the girl who scoffs at yoga and meditation, especially when I know the realreason I do it is because I know it might actuallywork, andI’m kind of afraid to get better.

But I need to find new methods that will help me calm down naturally in 2016.

2. I want to learn to cope without a Xanax in my purse.

I rarely leave the house without a Xanax tucked into my Chanel bag. Clich as all hell, I know. It’s nearly funny: Upper East Side New Yorker hoards pills in the hidden folds of her designer bag.

While I rarely take the pretty blue pill, I take far too much comfort in knowing it’s in there.

Every morning, I contemplate not putting it into my handbag. The strong girl inside of me says, “You don’t f* cking want that sh* t.”

But the fearful daughter bites back. “What if you get stuck in an elevator? What if you have another panic attack on the train? ”

I’m done with listening to the fear. It’s time for me to let badass Zara raise her voice and tell fearful Zara to shut up.

3. I want to stop running away from new feelings.

I have to remember that feelings won’t kill me. But operating from them can.

4. I want to have as many orgasms as possible.

You know what’s better than any drug or any drink in the stratosphere? Orgasms. It doesn’t matter if I give them to myself or if my girlfriend dedicates them to me. I want to experience as many mind-blowing, toe-tingling, earth-shattering orgasms as possible in 2016.

After all, orgasms are biology’smost powerful sort of meditation, right?

5. I want to leave the past in the past.

I’m sick of the past dictating my future. I’m sick of the pain of past relationships, the scary experiences I had in my early 20 s, the decade-long wars against my body creeping their route into the present.

While I will never, ever forget the hard things that have happened to me, I refuse to let them maintain affecting me the route they currently are.

You know why? Because I’ve learned this year that simply because people have hurt us doesn’t mean we have to hurt ourselves. The best way to get back at our abusers is to let all the painmake us stronger, fiercer and more empathetic versions of ourselves.

6. I want to speak up, even if my voice is shaking.

In 2015, I spoke up much more than I ever have. But I’m still not where I want to be.

A woman’s voice is the most powerful weapon in the world, but daughters are always taught to just “go with the flow” and be the “chill girl.”

Well, f* ck that. I’m not chill.

How can I be chill when there is so much injustice in the world? I’m tired of not speaking up when something is wrong or someone is being mistreated. I’m tired of sitting on the bleachers. I’m a girl, and I want to get into the game.

7. I want to present myself in a real way.

I’m sick of everyone being one personon social media and an entirely different onein real life. Considering a bunch of daughters with six-pack abs under meticulously perfect lighting doesn’t induce me or anyone I know feel better about ourlives.

I want to reveal the real me in life, online, in my articles, with my friends. Iwant to talk about my good days and my bad days. To make authentic connections, even if it entails revealing my flaws.

8. I want to be a boulder for anyone who needs one.

It sounds like a cliche, but I genuinely want to be there for all the girls and boys who feel lost and unloved, self-destructive and scarred, traumatized and depressed and sick. Because I’ve been there. But I combated my demons in silence because I was too ashamed to speak up.

I want to be the big sister for them that I so desperately needed in the thick of my teens and early 20 s. I want people to feel like they can talk to me in a real way and know that I will truly listen, that I’m rooting for them and even if I don’t know them, I truly f* cking love them.

What resolves are you attaining to improve your mental health this year?

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